


I'll be your morning star, and you'll be my angel

by junyeonbug



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), YHNEXT (Band), 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Angels, Angst, Blood, Emotional Instability, Insecurity, M/M, Mild Fluff, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, a lot of lonely bwj :(, idk its not that slow but, this fic is really angsty in general its not for the weak hearted, zzt and bwj just smile at each other like lovesick puppies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 10:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15289971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junyeonbug/pseuds/junyeonbug
Summary: "I'm your guardian angel, my job is to constantly watch over you and heal your wounds when you're hurt."With the many misfortunes Wenjun faced one after another, all he ever wanted was a friend that would make him feel that he was worth living. What he did not expect was Zhengting entering his life and opening his eyes to a whole new world of love, promises, and sacrifice.please see tags before reading.





	I'll be your morning star, and you'll be my angel

**Author's Note:**

> title is from nct 127's angel!!
> 
> this guardian angel au idea has been in my head for the longest time (over a year?) but i never found a suitable ship to write about UNTIL biting...
> 
> prepare ur tissues and Lets Go

It all started when Wenjun was a mere six years old.

"Hey you!" Wenjun stopped dumping sand into his pail and turned behind, towards the source of the voice.

"You're at our spot! Go away!"

It was them again- the group of four kids that went around bullying everyone they could find. Wenjun hadn't been bullied by them before, but he had witnessed all the nasty things they said to other people, and concluded that he should be running away right now, not standing up and looking at one of them straight in the eye.

"Who said this was your spot? I came here first!" He shouted back, immediately regretting his decision after.

"Who said you could shout back at us! This is our spot and we want it back!" The bully was unfazed by Wenjun's retaliation.

"Can't you just have asked nicely?" Wenjun mumbled and squatted down to resume his work, "ask nicely, or I won't move."

The bully wasted no time in kicking the bucket full of sand at Wenjun, simultaneously giving Wenjun a sand shower. The sharp crystals pierced his eye, making Wenjun cry out of pain.

"Crybaby!" The four of them laughed, pointing a finger at Wenjun as he tore across the playground and back to his classroom where he crouched under the teachers' table, vigorously rubbing his sore eyes.

Once his bawls settled into sniffles and he was ready to go out and play by himself again, a voice from behind him broke the silence.

"Are you alright?"

Wenjun jumped a little at the question and looked around. His gaze fell on a boy, probably his age, sitting on top of the shelf they kept their storybooks at. He tilted his head to the side, unable to comprehend the situation: the shelf was easily twice his height tall, how did the boy manage to get up there?

He opened his mouth to ask how did he manage to climb a shelf so tall, but settled for a nod instead.

The monkey boy smiled, swinging his legs so that it made a soft 'thump' everytime it hit the wood.

"How did you climb something so high?" Wenjun asked shyly, still standing there awkwardly, "and what are you doing here? It's break time, shouldn't you be playing in the playground?"

The boy shook his head, the angellic smile never leaving his face. "I have good climbing skills, I guess, and I was worried if the sand in your eyes would hurt you really bad, but it seems to be fine now," he answered.

Wenjun stared at the boy in confusion. Worried that the sand in his eyes would hurt him? How did he know if he was sitting here all this while?

Deciding not to ask anymore questions, Wenjun stuck out a hand towards the boy, adding, "get off there. Let's go play now!"

The boy didn't take his hand, and Wenjun retreated it embarrassingly. "I can't go out and play with you," he whispered.

"Why not?" Wenjun frowned, "is it because you can't get off? Don't worry, I'll catch you!" He spread out his arms.

"No, it's not that," the boy replied, looking around warily, "you should go out and play, Wenjun, don't mind me. I'll be fine here."

Wenjun gasped, putting a hand over his mouth. "How do you know my name? That's not fair, I don't know yours!"

The boy's ears perked at the sound of footsteps, his face grew pale and his words came out choppy, "I-I'll tell you another day, Wenjun. See you soon."

Wenjun looked at the direction the boy was looking at and saw his teacher walk into the class. "Wenjun? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be outside playing?"

"I was talking to him-" Wenjun turned around and pointed to the top of the shelf, where the boy had sat-

But he was gone.

"Talking to who?" The teacher asked, concerned.

"He was here a second ago! Really! I wanted to go out and play with him but he said he couldn't and- I don't know where he's gone!" Wenjun said in exasperation, utterly confused.

"I think you're seeing things, Wenjun," his teacher put a hand on his quivering shoulder, "come on, let's join your friends outside now."

Reluctantly, Wenjun let himself be dragged outside, his mind never stopped thinking about the mysterious boy on top of the shelf.

 

* * *

 

He didn't see the boy again until he was eight.

Wenjun had just returned from school and once he stepped through the doorframe of his house, he instantly knew something was amiss.

Broken bottles were strewn all over the floor, accompanied by puddles of liquid that Wenjun presumed to be beer. Wenjun's father was shouting at his mother, who was timidly standing beside the cupboard holding all of their prized possessions.

"Dad! Don't shout at mom! What's going on?" Wenjun dumped his bag on the ground and ran forward to pull his father away from his mother, unknowing of a beer bottle with its end busted in his father's hand. The broken bottle slammed on Wenjun's left shoulder, creating a deep gash, making him scream in pain and clutch the injured area tightly.

"Don't tell me what to do, you idiot! Stay away from this! Get the hell out of my sight!" Wenjun's father hollered, making Wenjun cry even louder.

He faintly heard his mother shouting his name as he ran up the stairs to his room, but after a piercing shatter of glass, those shouts were reduced to soft, insignificant whimpers.

Wenjun didn't look back, ran into his room and locked the door, curling up in a ball on the floor and sobbing furiously. He cast a glance at his shoulder and saw that the fabric was all bloody, and instantly he felt a little light-headed.

"What happened to dad?" He asked himself, closing his eyes in attempt to chase away the dizziness, "he hasn't hit mom or me like this before..."

"I think he's angry."

Wenjun turned around in the speed of light.

"Wh-what? Who said that?" He said as he looked around his room, spotting a boy dangerously perched on his window sill.

"Hi Wenjun, remember me?" The boy smiled and a lightbulb went off in Wenjun's head.

"It's you again! The boy on top of the shelf at school!" A large grin took over his frown at the memory.

"That's right, it's me," the boy hopped of the sill and sat beside Wenjun, "I'm sorry I couldn't play with you that day. Want to play now?"

Wenjun blinked in dilemma. He had lots of homework to do, but he left it downstairs, and he sure wasn't going to go down and get it, possibly getting hurt again in the process. His shoulder throbbed in pain to remind him of its presence, making him wince.

"I'm sorry, I'll heal your wound first, before we start playing. Come here," the boy gestured for Wenjun to sit closer to him.

"I need you to close your eyes, Wenjun. Once you open them, your shoulder will be good as new! You have to promise me not to peek!" The boy instructed and Wenjun giggled, nodding obediently.

Wenjun felt the boy's hand carefully touch his wound, and shivered a little at how cold and icy it was.

"You can open your eyes now, Wenjun," the boy removed his hand and Wenjun did as told, gaping at his left shoulder that had absolutely no traces of blood or scar.

"Woah! How did you do that? Do you have magic?" Wenjun squealed in happiness, hugging the boy in the process. He giggled and shook his head.

"It's not magic. It's a talent that only we have. Healing," he stuck out a hand, "by the way, I'm Zhengting."

"Zhengting..." Wenjun repeated to himself as he took his hand, "I like it! It's such a pretty name!"

"Thank you," Zhengting grinned, and Wenjun noticed the cute little set of teeth he exposed when he smiled.

"Zhengting? How did you get up on my window sill? Can you fly?" Wenjun asked innocently.

Zhengting shrugged and explained, "I guess I can fly, but only when I'm invisible."

"Invisible?! You can be invisible?" Wenjun's eyes widened and he stared at Zhengting with big eyes, "woah! You're so cool! You can make cuts better, fly, and be invisible! I want to be you!"

Zhengting shook his head and laughed it off. "I'm sure you wouldn't. You have a mom and dad who love you, and a happy house to live in. You're privileged."

"My life isn't happy! Mom and dad are downstairs fighting, and everyone in school doesn't like me!" Wenjun answered back angrily but Zhengting didn't lose his patience.

Zhengting shrugged and whispered as footsteps approached the door, "I don't have a mom nor dad, nor a house to live in."

"What did you say? Zhengting, I didn't hear you-"

"Wenjun? Who are you talking to?"

The called boy turned around to see his mother, badly cut up and bruised. Wenjun gasped loudly, putting a hand over his mouth and scanning her body from head to toe.

"Wenjun- don't worry about me... are you okay? He didn't hurt you that bad, didn't he?" His mother continued, placing shaky hands on Wenjun's shoulders.

"Dad hurt me real bad! It hurt so much, but Zhengting healed the cut for me! Now it's almost gone," he rolled the sleeve of his left shirt up and it revealed pale, unharmed skin.

"Zhengting? Who is that?" She asked and Wenjun simply pointed to the boy who was now standing dangerously close to the window.

"Who? Wenjun, I don't see anyone."

"He's right here!" Wenjun took Zhengting's hand and dragged him to his mother, ignoring Zhengting's panicked expression, "you see him now?"

Wenjun's mother raised an eyebrow in confusion, seeing his son hold an invisible boy's hand and call him 'Zhengting'.

"Oh my, what an imaginative mind, Wenjun! I promise to get that kitty you wanted at the shop soon, so you won't have to create imaginary friends anymore, okay?" She cupped the small boy's cheeks in her hands but Wenjun wriggled from her grasp.

"Zhengting's not my imagination! He's real! Zhengting, say something-" Wenjun turned to face him but was met with a gust of cold air and Zhengting fading away.

"Zhengting! Don't leave now! You have to introduce yourself to my mom!" Wenjun yelled but what was formerly Zhengting was now a space of nothing but air.

"I'm sorry Wenjun, your imaginary friend will come back soon-"

"He's not imaginary!" Wenjun yelled at full volume at his mother, who stepped back in surprise, "I saw him, I talked to him, he made my shoulder better, how can he be imaginary?!"

With that, Wenjun slammed the door to his bedroom and curled up on his bed, fighting back tears of spite and confusion. As he fell asleep with the thought that his mother was just too badly hurt that she couldn't see Zhengting, a gust of cold air penetrated his window and watched the sleeping boy with reassuring, sparkling eyes.

What Wenjun thought was the end turned out to be the beginning of a whole new exciting discovery.

 

* * *

 

Wenjun stared blankly ahead of him, at his plain, white bedroom wall that seemed to be a good representation of his current state.

Empty. That's all he's felt ever since his father hurled a series of cusses at him and his mom, walked straight out of the front door, and never came back.

And on nights like these, when his mother was out working late again, leaving Wenjun alone at home to stare at his wall in their dilapidated flat, it's when Wenjun starts to think about his miserable life that had fallen apart.

He'd never really made any good friends throughout his years at school, so that was probably the reason why the hole that his father made after he left them never got filled up by anyone else. Wenjun barely saw his mother as well, so she was out of the question.

All he ever wanted was a person who'd listen to him, stay with him, treat him like a loving being instead of an emotionless object.

A gust of cold wind blew Wenjun's disheveled bangs back over his eyes, making him jump out of fright. His window was closed, his fan was turned off, how could wind even get in here?

That's when he remembered.

_Zhengting._

It'd been a whole four years since he last came in contact with the boy, but Zhengting's angellic features and voice were simply too one-of-a-kind to be forgotten.

"Zhengting?" Wenjun tried. Warily, as if he was afraid that he'd scare the other away.

Chilling wind caressed his left cheek as a response.

"Zhengting? I know you're there," Wenjun shivered. The once-warm room had been taken over by Zhengting's icy-cold presence.

"Please, can you become visible for a moment? I want someone to talk to," he made himself sound as pitiful as possible, but it looked like Zhengting wasn't buying it.

"I'm the only one in the house right now, if that's what you're worried about."

Still nothing.

Wenjun scowled as he hugged his knees in defeat. What was Zhengting's problem? Can't he just appear whenever Wenjun wanted him to?

An idea popped into his mind when he felt the cold wind settle on his shoulder- the one that had been injured all those years back but had been healed by none other than Zhengting himself.

_He had to hurt himself in order to make Zhengting visible._

Not wasting a single moment, Wenjun pounded his right fist straight into his wall, so forceful that all his knuckles cracked at once and a stinging pain lingered.

"Are you going to appear now? My hand hurts," Wenjun raised his fist up, but was replied with another low whistle of cool breeze in his ear.

Rolling his eyes, he resumed his excruciating action, only stopping when he felt the cold air dissipate and morph into a human figure. Retreating his hand, he found the skin of his knuckles peeled back, exposing the raw, bloody flesh.

Zhengting sighed, tugging Wenjun away from the wall and back onto his bed.

"I'm not just some friend that you can call over anytime you want," he looked slightly cross, but the wrinkles on his forehead were evidently creased with worry.

"Then what are you? You haven't told me, so how am I supposed to know?" Wenjun fought back, ignoring the growing pain in his right hand.

Zhengting exhaled audibly, pursing his lips into a thin line.

"I'm your guardian angel."

Wenjun's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, that my job is to constantly watch over you and heal your wounds when you get hurt," Zhengting patiently explained. "That reminds me, give me your hand."

Wenjun watched in awe and surprise as Zhengting nestled his knuckles in his freezing hands, closed his eyes and within seconds, the splotches of blood were magically gone.

"That's... really cool," Wenjun's jaw couldn't seem to close as he admired his unblemished hand, "I want to be a guardian angel too! How do I be one?"

Zhengting scoffed, shaking his head.

"First of all, you have to be dead. Which you're not," he nonchalantly replied, to which Wenjun hopped off his bed in shock.

"You're dead? But... you can talk! You can see!" He placed a hand over Zhengting's chest, "you have a heart that's beating!"

Chuckling at Wenjun's adorable reaction, Zhengting calmly waited for Wenjun to sit down before continuing.

"I was dead. But I was given a new chance at life, since I perished unfairly. With that came a cost, and that cost was to watch over someone for their entire life. In my case this someone happened to be you," he beamed, elated at how Wenjun seemed so facinated by him. "Most of the time, we just watch from Heaven. But sometimes we come down to the real world too. That's when you know we're here. The cold wind."

Wenjun's gaze couldn't pry away from Zhengting, nor could his ears stop replaying the words that had just left his mouth.

"So... So that explains why nobody but me can see you?" Wenjun remembered how Zhengting appeared invisible to his mother. Zhengting nodded enthusiastically.

"But why do you only appear when I'm hurt? That's not fair, if I want you around can't I at least pretend that I'm hurt?" Wenjun frowned, before muttering the rest of his sentence, "you're pretty much the only friend I have."

Wenjun's eyes were focused on his lap, missing the hint of sympathy that flashed across Zhengting's features for a second.

"According to the rules, I'm only allowed to appear when you're hurt, then disappear right after," Zhengting stood up. "In fact, I'm not even supposed to be having this conversation with you. If Heaven catches me, I'll be punished."

"Wait!" Wenjun called out, just as the outline of Zhengting's figure started to blur.

The angel looked up expectantly.

"Will you come down to the real world more often? To spend time with me? Even though I can't see you?"

Zhengting beamed in response.

"That's great. It was nice talking to you, Zhengting, I'll... feel you again next time?" Wenjun giggled at choice of words.

His grin never disappearing, Zhengting slowly became increasingly transparent, until all that was left was a trail of his cold air seeping through the cracks of his window and out into the night sky.

 

* * *

 

"Zhengting, I'm home!"

The angel, still in his invisible form, soared from the skies to situate himself in Wenjun's bedroom.

"Guess what we learned in literature today?" Wenjun dumped his bag on the floor and hopped on his bed, "angels! We learned about you!"

Zhengting let a grin take over his face, a grin that Wenjun wouldn't be able to see but could feel.

It'd been three years since Wenjun had started doing this- relating everything that occurred in his life to Zhengting. It wasn't as if Zhengting didn't know already, since he pretty much followed the young boy wherever he went. But firstly, he couldn't tell him even if he wanted to. Secondly, he liked listening to Wenjun's voice and seeing him so excited when talking to him.

"But my teacher got so many facts wrong about you," he frowned, "he said that all angels are invisible. That's not true, since angels like you can be visible. Just not all the time."

His mother took him out to McDonald's? Wenjun told Zhengting. He made a new friend? Wenjun told Zhengting. He dissected a squid in biology? Wenjun told Zhengting. From all the big events to the little details, Wenjun never failed to fill Zhengting in on the happenings in his daily life. And if Zhengting were to be honest, despite not being able to express his opinion on certain topics, he loved listening to Wenjun talk for hours without end.

"He also said that all angels have halos. And wings. You don't have a halo or wings, do you?" He questioned the air, unable to recognise that Zhengting was sitting beside him, not opposite him.

Another thing Zhengting loved about Wenjun- he always talked to him as if he was talking to a real friend, instead of the air. That meant including questions in his daily recounts; asking Zhengting what he thought about certain topics, what he would do in certain situations. Even if Wenjun never got a reply, Zhengting knew that he could feel whatever his answer was anyway.

"I knew it. He was stereotyping. He probably got all those fake information from the boring books he reads. I hate him!" Wenjun stuck out his bottom lip and folded his arms.

Zhengting cracked a giggle at Wenjun's cute reaction.

"There was only one thing he got right," his voice reduced to a whisper. "He said that all angels are always watching over and protecting us. Which is true, since you're my angel and you protect me, right?"

Wenjun turned to him, finally getting his position right, and flashed a genuine grin that exposed his dimples and curved his big, brown eyes into slim crescents.

Zhengting was caught by utter surprise. He felt his heart grow twice in size at the breathtaking view of Wenjun smiling right at him. But more importantly, he'd never seen Wenjun smile like that before, much less look at him in the eye and smile that beautifully.

Much to Zhengting's disappointment, Wenjun looked away a few seconds later, playing with his fingers on his lap.

"I'll do my homework now. You can stay if you want, or go back up. I'll call you again when I'm done."

With that, he trudged over to his desk, flipped open his textbook, and immersed himself in the confusing sums.

Zhengting stayed in his position on Wenjun's bed, watching his back as he picked up his pen and started scribbling. Already, he longed to see that dazzling smile reappear on Wenjun's face again.

Wenjun grinned like that after he talked about Zhengting protecting him, didn't he? He got so delighted because he knew he had Zhengting constantly by his side?

_Then I'll always be by your side,_ Zhengting swore to himself, _so that I can see you smile that beautifully again._

 

* * *

 

_"I'm sorry, Wenjun."_

Wenjun ignored his friends asking him what had happened as he wasted no time sprinting past them, straight home.

_Zhengting. Zhengting. Zhengting._

He was all Wenjun could think about as he tore down the streets towards comfort. His friends wouldn't be of any help. Only Zhengting would understand.

Crashing through his bedroom door and flinging his schoolbag to some corner, he curled up on his bed and instantly, the tears he held in spilled onto his bedsheets like a fountain.

The familiar cool air wrapped around Wenjun like an ice blanket, ironically making him feel warm with love and protection. It didn't move until Wenjun had finished emptying his tears, now lying on his bed, still trying to regulate his irregular breathing.

Wang Yiren. The first girl he met who stole his heart. The first girl he met who asked him out. The first girl he met who told him straight to his face that she didn't love him anymore.

Wenjun was sure that he had given her all the love he could, despite being inexperienced. Yiren appeared to love him all this while, they were going so well, so why did she decide to break it off now?

"I don't understand, Zhengting," Wenjun sat up, leaned against the wall and buried his face in his knees. "Was I too bad of a boyfriend? Did she find someone else? Did she not love me anymore?"

"She was a bitch to begin with. You didn't deserve her at all, Wenjun."

Wenjun's head shot up, his expression immediately distorting into a queer concoction of relief and happiness at the sight of Zhengting standing before him.

Maybe it was because it had been four years since Wenjun last saw Zhengting in his physical form, but it was only then did Wenjun realise how much he had missed Zhengting's soft smile as he gazed lovingly at him.

"Am I hurt somewhere that I don't know?" Wenjun felt around. "Is my nose bleeding? Is my head bleeding? Oh my God, don't tell me one of my organs are bleeding."

Zhengting chuckled heartily, showing his cute set of white teeth as he shook his head.

"Your heart. It's broken, isn't it?"

Wenjun raised his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding his sentence for a second, before it dawned on him.

_Oh._

At the reminder, he nodded solemnly, but hopped off his bed to cling on to his angel.

"I missed seeing you," he allowed Zhengting's freezing arms to wrap around his waist. "It's been so long."

Zhengting closed his eyes and succumbed to Wenjun's warmth, resting his head on his comforting shoulder, appreciating the sudden change in his body temperature.

They stayed in that position for what seemed like an eternity, communicating through occasional brushes of Zhengting's fingertips on Wenjun's back, without a need for any words.

They pulled away after minutes of hugging each other in silence, opting to sit side by side on Wenjun's bed instead.

"I knew it from the start. Yiren was using you. She didn't love you at all," Zhengting began, "you know how frustrating it was to see you go out with her everyday?"

Wenjun's expression seemed to darken at the mention of her name. A fire started burning in Zhengting's chest, confusing him with its presence as even his frigid internal temperature wouldn't put the flame out.

"Really?" Wenjun questioned flatly. "It felt like she really loved me. Zhengting, I loved her a lot too."

The flame grew in size and volume.

"She went out with you because she pitied you," Zhengting spat out. "She broke it off when she got tired of you. She had her eyes on another boy all this while."

Wenjun flinched at the information Zhengting had just thrown at him, before sighing in acceptance.

"You're gonna heal my heart?" Wenjun mumbled, catching Zhengting's eye and gazing at the angel expectantly.

Zhengting simply shook his head, causing Wenjun to shrink back to his curled-up form.

"I'll do it the traditional way instead," he replied. Wenjun tilted his head to the side in question.

"Traditional way?"

Zhengting beamed, "you want to play hide n' seek?"

Wenjun stared at Zhengting in puzzlement before, slowly, an expression similar to his genuine smile that Zhengting had engraved in his mind found its way back on Wenjun's face.

The flame in Zhengting's chest extinguished with a gust of cold wind and a bloom of bright flowers took its place.

Zhengting hadn't started his job yet, but it already felt like he succeeded.

For the rest of the day, Zhengting didn't let Wenjun leave his side for a second. From numerous rounds of hide n' seek, to countless games of Scrabble, to hours and hours of Disney Channel, Zhengting made sure the smile he put on Wenjun's face was constantly fueled by him.

The flowers in his chest wouldn't stop blooming, and Zhengting found himself loving the feeling of the bouquet growing everytime he cast another glance at Wenjun's breathtaking smile.

Until the moon rose up high in the sky, signalling that it was time for Zhengting to head back to where he came from.

Wenjun was now safely nestled under his covers, Zhengting sitting on the side of his bed with his legs hanging off, mindlessly twirling Wenjun's smooth curls around his finger.

"I had so much fun today, Zhengting," the boy drowsily mumbled, sinking in the intoxicating feeling of Zhengting's fingers carding through his hair. "Thank you for making me so happy."

"I'm glad I made you feel better," he replied, "have I told you that your smile is one of the most stunning wonders I've ever seen?"

Wenjun turned away from Zhengting, fighting the blush that was creeping up his cheeks.

"You were right," his voice came out muffled. "Yiren didn't love me. For the months that we were together, not once did I ever feel this happy when I was with her."

A new flower spread its petals in Zhengting's heart, tickling his heartstrings.

"I didn't know an angel's power of healing could extend to the point where I would get cured even without you placing your hand on my heart," Wenjun removed Zhengting's hand from his hair and enclosed it in his.

"Thanks to you, my heart is now completely healed. You're truly amazing, Zhengting."

The sleepy, heavy-lidded, gorgeous smile that Wenjun presented Zhengting with threw even more strange feelings at him, making the angel's heart heavy with confusion.

Before he got too invested in his emotions that would prevent him from parting ways with Wenjun, Zhengting knew he had to break the mood by announcing his departure.

"I... I think I have to head back now," Zhengting reluctantly pried Wenjun's fingers off his own, looking away so as to not witness the boy's disappointment take over his features.

Wenjun didn't say anything for a long time, making Zhengting think that he had fallen asleep. But when his gaze returned to him, all Zhengting could see was the sparkle of tears brimming his eyelids.

"Do you really have to go?" He whispered, so softly; Zhengting might have missed it if the room wasn't dead silent.

Bringing his thumb up to swipe away the beads of tears that had spilled out of his eyes, Zhengting bit the interior of his cheek and nodded.

"Okay." Just one word, two syllables, but yet so full of sorrow, regret, and a thousand other emotions that Zhengting's couldn't identify.

Zhengting watched as Wenjun peeled the covers off himself, scooted over to Zhengting's side and wrap his warm arms around him once more, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Zhengting remained silent but brought his arms up to hold Wenjun close as the boy trembled against him- from the cold or in trepidation- Zhengting had no idea.

"I'll miss you terribly," the vibrations of Wenjun's words sent shivers up Zhengting's body, a new and foreign feeling to him.

"I will too," Zhengting reassured, "hopefully... it won't be long until we see each other again."

And with that, Wenjun forced himself to release his grip on Zhengting, watching him with teary eyes as he faded into thin air. Reaching out in hopes to hold Zhengting's hand one last time, his hand enclosed around cold air, reminding him that it was too late.

_Zhengting was going to be gone for a long time._

 

* * *

 

The moment Wenjun stepped through the double doors of his school the next day, everyone stopped their actions and stared at him for a solid second, before exchanging whispers with one another.

Wenjun glanced around in panic. Something was definitely wrong, and it was definitely concerning him.

As he walked past all of them, trembling with each step, he overheard bits of information drifting from their conversations.

_"...what a disgusting whore..."_

_"...poor Yiren, she had to put up with this bitch..."_

_"...honestly, why is he still here? He can just go and fuck himself..."_

Wenjun tried putting the scattered pieces of the puzzle together, but nothing made sense. They were talking about him and Yiren? Did Yiren say something bad about him that spread like wildfire?

Spotting his group of friends near his locker, he rushed up to them, hoping at least they'll be on his side, but even they just winced at him in disgust before blatantly walking away.

As they cleared, with Wenjun's jaw hanging open in betrayal and shock, he then realised what had been done to his locker.

Someone, or some people, had taped hate letters all over his it. Looking closer, all of them had the common words "gay fucker", making Wenjun even more confused about what had happened.

Opening his locker, another flood of letters washed to the floor, amplifying his bewilderment at the situation. What happened that was so serious, making almost the entire school population go against him?

As he bent down to gather all the hate letters in his arms, a student appeared at his feet and kicked him to the floor, eliciting a series of snickers from the crowd that had gathered. Wenjun's ears burned in embarrassment but he continued his action, only to be kicked a second time, this time with much more strength and hatred.

"How about you read one of these out for all of us to hear?" The student teased, "we wrote these specially for you, you wouldn't like our efforts to go to waste, right?"

Wenjun shakily picked a random crushed ball of paper from the pile, unfolded it and the harsh words that slapped him on the face immediately sparked tears in his eyes.

" _'Go back to hell, you gay fucker, that's where you belong'_ ," Wenjun's voice trembled so intensely that it felt like his vocal cords were experiencing an earthquake. " _'Since you think Yiren is a toy you can play with, we'll treat you like a toy too to let you know how it feels like'_."

And in that instant, with Yiren standing behind that student, her arms folded and a grim smile spread on her face, Wenjun finally understood what was going on.

She had spread rumours that he had broken it off with her, because he was gay. Both parts of the rumour weren't even true, but judging by Yiren's popularity and the entire student body on her back, Wenjun's fight for his side of the story wouldn't last a second.

Zhengting's words to him from the day before echoed in his mind, finally realising that he was right all along.

_"I knew it from the start. Yiren was using you. She didn't love you at all."_

_"She went out with you because she pitied you."_

Before the crowd could close in on him and start beating him up, the bell for the first class rang, and Wenjun heaved a sigh of relief when a teacher appeared and ordered everyone to go to their classes.

For the entirety of his day in school, not one lesson went by without more hurtful notes being tossed on his table during lessons. When he left his desk for the cafeteria during break time, he came back to see it and his schoolbag trashed, worksheets and stationery all on the floor, crushed, crumpled and trampled on.

To say Wenjun grabbed the remains of his belongings, dashed out of the class at the speed of light when the last bell sounded was a huge understatement.

Tearing down the streets so fast that his eyes pricked with tears at the fierce, cold wind rushing towards him, Wenjun let his mind drift to Zhengting yet again.

Just the thought of Zhengting pushed a button in him and his tears flowed freely, blurring his vision as he turned into his apartment. He had only seen Zhengting the night before, but the yearn to see and hug him again was stronger than he had ever felt.

As soon as he entered his bedroom, he made a beeline for his sheets again, burying himself in it while emptying the rest of his tears into it. The fact that his actions had been a complete repeat of yesterday scared Wenjun into thinking that this would be going on for the rest of his days in that school.

"Zhengting..." he wailed pitifully, "can you please appear again? I'm hurt, can't you see?"

Wenjun felt the boy slip into his window and wrap around him, but he didn't make himself visible.

"Please... Zhengting, I need you now," Wenjun's loud sobs never faltered. "I need to see you and hug you and feel you again, after all that had happened in school today. You saw, didn't you? You know how hurt I am! So why aren't you appearing?"

Zhengting continued to embrace him with his frigid presence, ignoring Wenjun's command of making himself visible.

"Zhengting... why aren't you listening to me? Do you not like me anymore?" Wenjun coldly questioned, shaking the cold air off him, "do I have to hurt myself? Will that make you appear?"

Despite his threaten, Zhengting continued to surround him with his icy winds, as if he thought Wenjun would feel comforted by them.

"Stop it! It's not making me feel better!" Wenjun yelled, and Zhengting removed himself from Wenjun's body in shock. "I told you, I need to see you! What part of my sentence do you not understand?"

After no response from Zhengting in the following seconds, Wenjun wordlessly got up to face his bedroom wall, raised his arms out and began mercilessly punching it, slamming his head against it in intervals.

His rage died down after a minute of torturing himself, but surprisingly, the wounds on his head and knuckles didn't hurt the least bit. Huffing loudly while admiring at the stains of red he left on his pristine white wall, the faint sound of sniffles behind him froze him in place.

Bracing himself, he turned around slowly, only to be met with Zhengting's tear-stained cheeks and his red, damp eyes.

_He had been crying all this while._

Realisation dawned in Wenjun's heart, now cracked into pieces and hurting immensely. Zhengting rushed forward to engulf him in his embrace, erupting into another fit of tears.

The heartbreaking sound of Zhengting's sobs and whimpers filled Wenjun's ears as the angel hugged him with all the strength he possessed, icy droplets of saltiness stinging his neck. Wenjun shakily brought his wounded hand up to hold Zhengting's head on his shoulder in place, the other rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"I'm sorry... it's my fault, I shouldn't have called you," Wenjun's apologetic tone made Zhengting sob even harder. "Don't cry anymore, Zhengting, please? Let me see you."

Zhengting shook his head furiously, mumbling inaudible words into Wenjun's neck as he clung on tighter to him.

Sighing, Wenjun chose not to speak anymore and allowed Zhengting to continue squeezing the life out of him. He buried his head into Zhengting's mop of soft, brown, curly hair, breathing in its heavenly scent.

Wenjun seemed to lose track of time as they stood there in each other's embrace- Wenjun feeding off Zhengting's comfort and Zhengting absorbing Wenjun's warmth- until Zhengting's wails had settled into shallow hiccups.

Lifting the other easily, Wenjun gently placed Zhengting to lie on his bed, before slipping under the covers beside him. Instinctively, Zhengting rolled over to his side and buried his face into Wenjun's warm chest again, his arms curling around Wenjun's waist as he calmed himself down.

"Are you feeling better?" Wenjun whispered and Zhengting managed a slight nod.

"I didn't know you were crying, I shouldn't have hurt myself like that... I shouldn't have demanded you to appear, I know you'd get punished... I'm so sorry, Zhengting, it's all my fault," Wenjun raked his fingers through Zhengting's hair, evoking sighs of comfort from the angel.

"No, I'm sorry," Zhengting's voice was shaky and husky from the intense sobbing session he had earlier. "I should have appeared earlier. It was my fault you got hurt."

Wenjun took in a breath to reply, but Zhengting's wide and sparkling pupils that briefly met with his caught his tongue.

"I hate it when you hurt yourself, Wenjun," he confessed, "I used to not think much of it in the past, but when you got your heart broken yesterday, it was like the whole world crashed at my feet. It felt terrible."

"My job is to make you feel better, but the fact that I can't make you not get hurt in the first place is so frustrating. You get what I'm saying?" Zhengting paused a while to cast another glance at Wenjun, who nodded silently.

"And on the other hand, when I finally make you feel better, the smile that you reward me with makes me feel like I just won a million dollars. It feels like I've accomplished everything that I'm capable of doing. I can't describe how wonderful and magical that feeling is, Wenjun."

Zhengting's sincere words sent flutters to Wenjun's heart, making it thump quicker than normal.

"So please, can you do me a favour by promising me something?" Zhengting sat up. Wenjun could see the blush that had stained his cheeks and the tip of his ears, and together with his messy curls, he looked like the most adorable little boy he had ever seen.

"Can you promise me that you will never hurt yourself again? And that you will keep smiling just for me?"

Zhengting's mesmerising eyes that had looked at him with so much hope caught Wenjun's breath for a second. It was only then he noticed, Zhengting truly was the human embodiment of beauty.

_Keep smiling for Zhengting? That was no problem. But if he were to never get hurt again..._

"Does this mean that I'll never get to see you anymore?"

The fall in Zhengting's expression made Wenjun instantly regret what he had just blurted out.

"That's... that's..." For once, Zhengting was at a loss for words. Wenjun never took his eyes off him as Zhengting seemed to be deep in thought, thinking of a solution to the problem.

"How about we do it like this," Zhengting's bright eyes on him returned after a minute of silence. "You promise me that you won't hurt yourself again, and I'll promise you that I'll appear everytime you want me to."

Wenjun's pupils widened at the deal Zhengting offered him.

"But... won't you get in trouble? Zhengting, this is dangerous," Wenjun frowned, worried about the angel's well-being.

"I'll be careful not to get caught," a cheerful smile found its way back to brighten Zhengting's expression. "Anyway, I'd rather suffer the punishment than suffer from not being able to physically be with you everyday."

And just like that, Wenjun's frown inverted itself, and the two of them sat there smiling at each other as if they were the only two in the whole world, aware of their beating hearts speeding up.

Wenjun threw himself on Zhengting for another comforting hug, but this time, it was filled with love, anticipation and excitement for their days to come.

"Deal."

 

* * *

 

It was going so well.

Despite the constant torture Wenjun received in school everyday, the thought of seeing Zhengting fueled him with strength, pushing him to withstand the bullying so that he could be rewarded with Zhengting's comforting hugs and soft praises at the end of it.

To prevent himself from getting caught, Zhengting didn't appear everyday. They reverted back to their old ways of Wenjun talking to Zhengting about the little joys that happened throughout his day, while the angel sat beside him and listened intently to his every word.

But this time, Zhengting found himself captivated by Wenjun's every single little detail as he related his day to him. Wenjun saw a cat on the way home? Zhengting was more focused on his cute, pouty lips that made an appearance when the cat didn't meow back at him. Wenjun got an A for his maths test? Zhengting was distracted by the tiny whisker-like wrinkles that spread from his twinkling eyes.

However, when Zhengting did become visible, most of their time was spent cuddling under the covers. Sometimes Zhengting read a book to him as Wenjun rested his cheek against his chest, sometimes they exchanged little whispers and sweet nothings, sometimes they just lay silently and enjoyed each other's presence.

On a particular day when the bullies at school wounded Wenjun with their violent words yet again, Zhengting descended from Heaven to tuck the vulnerable little boy into bed with him.

It was a day when they didn't say anything to each other, instead communicating through their gentle caresses and little smiles.

Wenjun found one of Zhengting's chilly hands under the sheets and enclosed it in his warmth, inducing a soft sigh from Zhengting. He brought it up to his cheek, wrapping his cold fingers around his warm flesh.

Zhengting could feel his face start to burn at their intimacy despite his icy temperature.

Wenjun's eyelids fluttered open after a few minutes of staying in that position, making eye contact with Zhengting who was only mere inches away from him.

"Zhengting," he mumbled drowsily, reminding Zhengting of the first time he tucked the boy into bed before leaving him.

"Hm?" He replied, displaying a tiny smile.

"What are we?"

At the question, Zhengting's smile faded, a confused expression taking over his features.

"What do you mean?"

"Like... I don't think we're just friends," Wenjun slipped Zhengting's hand into his own again, interlocking their fingers. "Do you think friends do this with each other?"

Zhengting glanced down at their joined hands before looking back at Wenjun, who had decided that Zhengting's chest was a better pillow than his own.

"Do all angels have these kind of relationships with their humans?" Wenjun continued, "I think not, right?"

Wenjun raised his head and locked eyes with Zhengting again, but this time his pupils were filled with an unexplainable look of hesitance and adoration, making Zhengting know exactly what the boy's next words were.

"I think... I think I like you, Zhengting," Wenjun whispered almost inaudibly, but with Zhengting's proximity, it felt like his words reverberated around the two of them.

Zhengting felt a lump in his throat, and for the first time, he was conflicted on what to say, what to respond to the scared little boy expressing his raw feelings to him.

"I've never felt like this with anyone before," his voice gained a hint of confidence, "not even with Yiren. Every time I see you my heart kind of jumps out of my throat? How do I explain this..."

Zhengting's mouth open and closed multiple times, like a fish, but not a single word manage to escape it. _What were these emotions that he was experiencing? What were these emotions that Wenjun was trying to convey to him?_

"I've never been this happy to see or be with someone in my life, ever. And when I'm not with you, or when you're not with me, it feels like there's no point in continuing to live anymore. Without you, my world is... nothing," Wenjun's grasp on Zhengting's hand tightened, and the spark in his eyes flickered to a flame of panic.

"I hope you know... that you're more than just important to me. You're my entire world, Zhengting. I can't live without you," the flame extinguished with a pool of tears filling his eyes.

"Because of this, I think I might like you? No, I might love you. And I might want to spend the rest of my life with you, by your side, like this, everyday," a drop escaped his eye, trickling down his reddened cheeks and making a stain on Zhengting's pristine white clothes. Zhengting was alarmed when he found his hand moving on its own will to wipe away the remaining tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes.

"I... love you, Zhengting," Wenjun choked on his sobs, tears clouding his vision, but not once did his gaze on Zhengting falter. "This is quite sudden but... can I... kiss you?"

As if he was under some strange spell, Zhengting's head bobbed up and down in approval, and before he realised what he had done, Wenjun's face was already inching towards his.

The instant Wenjun's lips brushed against his own, Zhengting found himself intoxicated by the soft feeling of their intimate connection.

Neither Wenjun nor Zhengting was experienced in this field of romance, so their kiss was short, haste and messy, but those few seconds of contact was enough to send Zhengting's mind in a frenzy.

Wenjun retracted himself from Zhengting and smiled at him gently, as if to comfort him. But Zhengting was too caught in his predicament to return a sincere one back to him.

Not once in his life, whether it was his past human life or his present angel life, had Zhengting ever encountered this kind of situation. Wenjun had just confessed to him, Wenjun had just kissed him, Wenjun was now smiling at him, waiting for him to say something.

Zhengting placed a hand on his heart and felt it pumping faster than its usual speed. He placed another on his cheek and felt his fingers instantly heat up. He looked straight into Wenjun's twinkling eyes and felt thousands of butterflies spreading their wings and fluttering in his stomach.

_Was this the symptoms of human love that he had been warned against?_

Panic crushing him like a speeding truck running over a metal can, Zhengting sprang up from his position beside Wenjun on his bed, and stared warily at the boy in terror.

"Zh-Zhengting? Is something wrong?" Wenjun's forehead creased with worry and confusion, his voice shaking at the angel's abrupt outburst.

Zhengting remained silent, both hands still on his own chest, terrified at the way his heart seemed to beat faster and faster with each passing second.

"Did I make you uncomfortable? Zhengting, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Wenjun was advancing towards him, his arms outstretched.

A frightened shriek escaped Zhengting's throat, scaring Wenjun into taking a step back from him. He didn't realise that he had just hurt Wenjun until the boy's worried eyes darkened, looked away from him and towards the floor.

Zhengting was conflicted on what to do; should he comfort the boy? But what would he say? Should he just go back up? But wouldn't Wenjun still be hurt? Which meant that he wasn't doing his job?

In his moment of self-discord, Wenjun had climbed back into his bed, draped his blanket over himself and curled up into a tight ball, completely disappearing from Zhengting's view.

"Sorry. I think that was too much of a shock for you. I didn't think about what you might have felt when I did that," his muffled voice sent daggers of rejection straight to Zhengting's heart, his words piercing deep into him.

"I... I don't know," Zhengting croaked out his first words since the emotional mess started.

"Of course you don't. You're an angel," Wenjun stated matter-of-factly, not a hint of emotion present in his voice.

Zhengting felt his body stiffen up. For all the years they had been together, this was the first time Wenjun had created a barrier between them; a harsh reminder of reality that they were of different species, that they were never meant to interact, much less have emotional connections.

His eyes welled up with tears which was unknowing to Wenjun, who hadn't moved an inch from his fetal position. Blinking them away, he tried to calm his breathing before stuttering out his next words.

"I think I h-have to g-go back," Zhengting mentally cursed himself for how cold and selfish that sounded coming out of his own mouth- the same mouth that had conveyed uncountable words of motivation to Wenjun, the same mouth that had just kissed the vulnerable, shaking figure under his covers.

"Okay."

Wenjun's indifference to their separation, which usually upsetted him the most, hurled more daggers into Zhengting's already-wounded heart.

Just as the angel was about to make his departure, Wenjun's soft little voice emerged from the covers, halting his actions.

"Will you be back tomorrow?"

Zhengting emitted a sigh of relief. Maybe when he comes back tomorrow, the whole situation would be behind them and they could return as best friends again.

"I will. I promise I will."

Even though his face was invisible, Zhengting could feel the warmth of Wenjun's smile radiate off him, drifting to Zhengting to warm his injured heart up.

"I'll see you then. Bye, Zhengting."

With his newfound confidence, Zhengting shuffled up to the ball of warmth under the blanket and pressed a kiss to his forehead, the icy touch never dissipating even as Zhengting faded away into oblivion.

 

* * *

 

Perhaps promises were made to be broken.

You could say that Wenjun was more than excited when he dumped his schoolbag on the ground after school and looked out of his window, up at the sky, his eyes calling out for his angel to descend and join him.

All he received was absolute silence, the warmth of his bedroon remained unchanged.

"Zhengting?" He tried verbally this time, but was met with the same response.

"I guess you're busy now. When you're done, come down okay, I want to apologise for yesterday."

Wenjun sighed disappointingly and turned away from his window, grabbing his homework from his bag to start on it.

The sky was growing dark by the time he had set down his pen and looked up at his clock. But there was still no sign of Zhengting anywhere near him.

His sense of panic becoming more and more evident by the second, Wenjun flung open the panes of his window and yelled for the angel's name, although he knew his action would make no difference.

"Zhengting! Where are you!" He knew he looked like an idiot, shouting to the sky, receiving nothing in return.

Still nothing.

"Zhengting... did something happen to you? Why are you not coming anymore?" His voice cracked with fear, tears beginning to well up in his eyes, "It doesn't matter if I can't see you, can you just be here with me? Please?"

The wind whistled in response, but Wenjun had known Zhengting long enough to know that wasn't him- it was probably just the regular breeze.

"YOU PROMISED!" He flew into a rage, blinded by anger, yelling out of his window, "IS THAT WHAT YOU DO TO ME ALL THE TIME? BREAKING THINGS? BREAKING PROMISES AND BREAKING MY HEART?"

A glimmer of hope sparked in Wenjun that Zhengting would miraculously appear by his side like the last time when Yiren broke his heart, start hugging him and apologising, and everything would be okay.

Maybe he hoped for a little too much.

Wenjun was bawling by now, and through his clouded vision he could vaguely see his neighbours look funnily at him before shutting their windows, but Zhengting was still nowhere to be seen or felt.

The moonlight fell on a penknife he kept on his desk, making the blade glimmer, and an idea popped into his head.

_If Zhengting could break his promise, then why can't he?_

Pushing out the blade from its holder, he swallowed a ball of nervousness before experimentally gliding it across his arm. He yelped in response at the sharp pain and the blood slowly oozing out of the open wound, but he didn't stop.

Only after his hand was shaking too much to continue creating slits, he dropped the blood-coated penknife on the floor and admired his creation.

Astonishingly, it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. The thought of Zhengting abandoning him, never coming back, never comforting him or protecting him ever again hurt loads more than the deep wounds he had inflicted on himself.

"Zhengting... you see this?" He raised his arm up, feeling the warm blood trickle down his injured arm, "I'm really hurt now. Can't you see?"

His trembling voice caught him by surprise and before he knew it, he was on his knees, waterfalls of tears streaming down his cheeks, mixing with the blood that had found its way on there when he brought his arms up to cover his face.

"Zhengting..." he cried out in despair, "it really hurts... where are you?"

"All I want is to be with you, all I want is your hugs, your whispers, your presence, your everything... I just want you to be here with me, be it physically or not... do you not want to see me anymore? Have you grown tired of me? Did you find someone else?"

Flashbacks from the previous day started replaying in his head, contorting Wenjun's expression of hurt into one that showed realisation, hurt, betrayal and acceptance.

"So you hate me huh," he got up from his kneeling position to stand up, his eyes never leaving the floor.

"You're disgusted by me because I kissed you yesterday, right? You're not coming back because you don't want to be with a disgusting person anymore, right? You thought of me as a friend but I disgusted you by telling you that I like you, RIGHT?"

His chest heaving with anger, Wenjun controlled the tears threatening to spill out and looked up at the sky one last time.

"Remember how I said that you're my entire world? And that I can't live without you?" Wenjun's voice was barely above a whisper, but he knew Zhengting could still hear him crytal clear, if he was actually listening.

"Since you're not going to come back to me, I guess there isn't any point of living anymore."

As his tears overflowed and dampened his cheeks yet again, he stepped away from the window to make his way out of the house.

The main road along his apartment was empty. Perfect, Wenjun thought, if a car came it would definitely be speeding through the empty roads. Which meant that it would definitely run him over and kill him.

Sitting down at the curb, he watched the little cars zoom past, counting nine of them before he finally saw the perfect one.

A lorry. A huge, industrial-sized, cement-carrying lorry. No doubt, he was going to be flattened by its enormous wheels.

Positioning himself in the middle of the road, Wenjun caught a glimpse of the lorry driver's horrified expression before the bright headlights blinded his vision and the ear-splitting sound of brakes filled his ears.

As he was slammed by the hood of the lorry, flying a few metres from the impact, Zhengting's angellic face appeared right before him.

And Wenjun smiled. Despite the excruciating pain that was flooding through his bones, the sight of Zhengting instinctively brought a smile to his face.

"Zheng... is.. that... you?"

He didn't respond. Which Wenjun didn't mind of course, seeing Zhengting was enough to make him satisfied. Even though his hair and clothes were in a mess, his eyes were bloodshot and there were visible tears tracks on his cheeks.

"Why... are you... crying?"

No response again. Zhengting just placed a hand on his heart, closed his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed as though he was concentrating on something.

"Don't... cry.... l-love you... Zhengt-"

With an unfinished sentence, Wenjun succumbed to the drowiness and his eyes fluttered shut.

And just like that, in front of the growing crowd around the accident scene, police sirens audible in a distance, Zhengting collapsed on his human's body, all signs of life drained from the both of them.

 

* * *

 

"Two weeks?! Two?! He can't even survive without me for one day!"

"Then that's a fault on your part, no one told you to get attached to the boy in the first place," the Master tapped a pen on his desk before pointing it to the door. "You heard me. Two weeks. Now go."

Zhengting huffed in frustration before stomping out of the Master's office, thousands of worries and concerns bustling in his mind.

"What did you get?" Ziyi enquired the upset angel, joined by Xukun on his other side.

"I can't see Wenjun for two weeks! I can't go down to spiritually be with him or to heal him when he gets hurt! This is abuse!" He grumbled.

"Unfortunately, we can't file reports for angel abuse. There isn't any police up here," Xukun offered helpfully.

"How's he doing? Did you keep an eye on him?" Zhengting ignored his angel friend's comment and asked the helpful Ziyi instead.

"He's fine. He thinks you were busy, which is true. He's doing his homework now," Ziyi replied. "Though... he might get a little upset later. He mentioned something about apologising for yesterday. Zhengting, this is not good."

Zhengting's mind drifted to the happenings of the day before. Wenjun confessing to him... Wenjun kissing him... After he had consulted his angel friends about the strange feelings he had experienced, Xukun and Ziyi both confirmed that indeed, Zhengting liked Wenjun too.

But how was he ever going to tell him with his two-week ban from the boy?

Pacing around for ages, he finally realised that the sky had grown dark when Wenjun looked out of his window, beckoning him to come down.

"I'm sorry baby, I can't," Zhengting muttered to himself uselessly- Wenjun wouldn't be able to hear him.

_"YOU PROMISED! IS THAT WHAT YOU DO TO ME ALL THE TIME? BREAKING THINGS? BREAKING PROMISES AND BREAKING MY HEART?"_

"NO!" Zhengting was in tears now, seeing Wenjun fly into a rage all because of him. Ziyi and Xukun watched silently from the side, too afraid to interfere the angel's private moment.

But the moment Wenjun picked up the penknife and laid it on his skin, Ziyi and Xukun had to pounce on Zhengting to hold his flailing body down.

"NO!" He yelled again, "NO NO NO! STOP DOING THAT! STOP HURTING YOURSELF! WENJUN! LISTEN TO ME!"

"Zhengting! He can't hear you! Snap out of it!" Xukun tried to grab onto Zhengting's arm but received an elbow in the ribs instead.

"STOP IT! YOU'RE BLEEDING! YOU'RE HURT!" Zhengting screamed, kneeling down in despair, his face in his hands. Wenjun, of course, went deaf to his screams and continued to glide the blade along his arm.

_"Zhengting... it really hurts... where are you?"_

"I'm sorry..." Zhengting's actions were mirroring Wenjun at this point, both the angel and the human filled with frustration at their undelivered words, filled with hurt and hopelessness at their unconveyed emotions.

_"Do you not want to see me anymore? Have you grown tired of me? Did you find someone else?"_

"Wenjun... why are you thinking like this? I haven't... you're the only one for me, how could I find someone that's better than you?" Zhengting could barely finish a sentence without hiccuping or sniffing, amplifying the broken state he was currently in.

_"You're disgusted by me because I kissed you yesterday, right? You're not coming back because you don't want to be with a disgusting person anymore, right? You thought of me as a friend but I disgusted you by telling you that I like you, RIGHT?"_

"STOP THAT!" Zhengting erupted again, straining against Xukun and Ziyi's grips. "STOP SPROUTING NONSENSE! I'M NOT DISGUSTED BY YOU! I WAS JUST CONFUSED! I LIKE YOU TOO, WENJUN, WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

_"Since you're not going to come back to me, I guess there isn't any point of living anymore."_

Zhengting halted his violent movements. That one-second eye contact with Wenjun told him exactly what Wenjun was going to do next, freezing him into place.

"Zh-Zhengting? What happened?" Xukun asked gently, afraid that hell would break loose again.

"He's going... kill.. himself," Zhengting started to shake violently, incoherent words falling out of his mouth. "H-He... getting knocked down... by a lorry..."

Immediately understanding Zhengting's situation, Xukun and Ziyi sighed worriedly in unison.

"A-Are you going?" Ziyi bravely asked.

"OF COURSE I'M GOING," Zhengting lashed out, regretting his tone when Ziyi flinched back. "Sorry. Yes, I'm going."

The three of them stayed silent for a minute, watching Wenjun sit on the curb and see the cars drive past.

"It was nice knowing the two of you," Zhengting turned to them and forced the most genuine smile he could afford.

They nodded, not giving him a reply.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, I can't let him die like that," Zhengting bit his cheek, feeling guilty all of a sudden. "You know how much I love him, right?"

"Don't apologise to us," Xukun squeezed his hand encouragingly. "You're really brave. The things you do for Wenjun is really admirable."

Ziyi nodded in agreement, adding, "Wenjun's so lucky to have you. Go ahead and save him, we'll always remember you."

Zhengting caught a glimpse of Wenjun sauntering to the middle of the road and bid his friends one last goodbye, before diving down to the real world and doing his job.

 

* * *

 

_"Zhengting, can I ask you something?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Can angels die?"_

_"Of course we can. We have a life too."_

_"How?"_

_"You know how our job is to constantly watch over and protect our humans, right? Healing them when they're hurt? Enabling them to continue living?"_

_"Yes."_

_"When our human is going to die, we have to transfer our soul to them. That means that we die, and our human continues living."_

_"What? Why? That's not fair!"_

_"It is, Wenjun. If our human is on the brink of death, it is our fault in the first place. We were supposed to protect them. So this serves as a kind of punishment for us."_

_"What happens after you die? Do you go back to being an angel?"_

_"I don't think so. I think we just... disappear. Vanish off the earth. Never to be seen again."_

_"That's terrible. I wouldn't want that to happen to you."_

_"That won't happen. I promised I'll protect you forever, didn't I?"_

_"Yeah. You did."_

 

* * *

 

When Wenjun opened his eyes and saw a white ceiling above him, he contemplated his existence for a moment.

_Why is he here? Wasn't he supposed to be dead? Was this how heaven looked like?_

The curtain surrounding his bed drew open and a man wearing a long, white coat appeared, his expression brightening when he saw that Wenjun was conscious.

"Wenjun! You're awake!" He smiled, setting his clipboard down.

_Why did he look so happy?_ "Am I dead?"

"No, you're alive," he continued smiling, "how do you feel?"

Ignoring his question, Wenjun pressed on with his interrogation. "Why am I alive?"

At that question, the doctor's expression instantly darkened. He switched his gaze to the floor, his pupils darting around nervously.

"Uh.. this might be abit of a shock to you, but someone actually sacrificed their life to save you."

Wenjun blinked in confusion. _Someone_ saved _him? But no one was there? Did he make a mistake?_

"Who?" He asked curiously.

"Would you like to see him?"

Wenjun nodded, getting off his bed to follow the doctor past the curtains and into another room.

The instant the doctor let him step into the mortuary and peeled back the sheet draped over the body, Wenjun felt his heart drop to the floor at the familiar face.

_Zhengting._

"I... this.. why?" He asked no one in particular. Feeling his knees turn to jelly, he gripped onto the table for support.

"You... you can see him?" He turned to the doctor, overwhelmed by shock.

"Uh, yes?" He replied to Wenjun's queer question.

Looking back at Zhengting, a thousand questions ran through Wenjun's mind. _How did Zhengting save him? Was the illusion of Zhengting appearing before he fainted real? Why is Zhengting visible now?_

"Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. We found this in his clothes, and it seems like it was for you," the doctor fished a folded note out of his pocket and handed it to Wenjun. "Does this guy know you?"

Accepting the note with trembling hands, Wenjun unfolded it and slowly read the contents.

_'Wenjun, my favourite human, my favourite person in the world._   
_I'm sorry I couldn't come down to be with you, Master forced me with a two-week ban from going to the real world. I'm sorry that I couldn't live to protect you forever. I'm sorry if I offended you with my actions the last time I saw you. I'm sorry that I didn't have the opportunity to tell you... I love you too, Wenjun. I really love you. I love you so much that gave you my life. I'm sorry that I broke my promise, but will you promise me something in return? Will you promise to continue living for me? Although I can't be here with you anymore, I'll always be with you spiritually. Thank you for teaching me what love felt like, Wenjun, I'll always love you._   
_Your only guardian angel, Zhengting'_

By the time he had reached the last word, Wenjun's hands were quivering, droplets of tears had smudged a few words here and there, but he had managed to read everything before looking up unbelievably at Zhengting's unmoving body.

"You're... really... gone? Forever?" Wenjun rhetorically asked the pale, still body.

"You... sacrificed your life... for me? When it was all my fault in the first place?"

He looked like he was sleeping. His messy hair had been combed down, his face had been cleaned- he looked perfect. Only if he wasn't dead.

"Zhengting... wake up, I'm here," Wenjun sniffed, trying his best to hold in his tears, "you're not dead right? You wouldn't leave me like that, Zhengting..."

Finding his hand underneath the sheet, Wenjun enclosed it in his own, his cold and clammy hand sending a knife straight into Wenjun's heart.

Then he remembered. Zhengting was already dead when he knew him. Which was probably why he was already so cold. The thought struck him into numbness, making him incapable of feeling any sense of regret.

"I'll... stay strong for you," he squeezed his hand, hoping that Zhengting would at least be aware, "that's what you want me to do, right? I'll do this. For you."

Letting go of Zhengting and pocketing the fallen note, he stood up and took one last glance at Zhengting's serene expression before nodding at the doctor.

He briefly confirmed that Zhengting had been properly tucked in before exiting the mortuary. It was already morning, making Wenjun wonder how long he had been out for.

He looked up at the sky, his heart completely empty, knowing that this time, Zhengting wouldn't be watching him like he always had been doing.

"I already miss you," he folded his arms and rested on the window sill, "where are you now? I hope you're okay, wherever you are."

"Remember the first time we saw each other? I got sand in my eyes, and you appeared on the top of the bookshelf," Wenjun chuckled at the memory. "Who would've known that same kind-hearted boy who I wanted to play with would be the person that I've grown to love with all my heart?"

"You know what's funny? We've seen each other in our worst, most vulnerable states, where we look the worst, but we still managed to find the beautiful points in each other and ultimately fall in love. That's so cheesy," he smiled to himself. "I'm so glad that you were my guardian angel, Zhengting. I'm so glad I got to know you. You opened my eyes to a lot of new things too, you know."

"I know that I said that there isn't a point in life without you anymore, but since you gave me your life, I'll live it through," a rush of confidence and hope rushed through Wenjun, fueling him with energy to continue smiling.

"I promise to continue living for you, for as long as I can. Even though I'll never be able to see or feel you again, I trust that you'll always be able to see and feel me," he continued admiring the sky; the sight of the clouds drifting into many little shapes was oddly satisfying. "You'll always be my little angel, and I'll always be your little human."

Despite the sunlight illuminating the sky in its glaring glow, Wenjun caught the brief twinkle of a little star in a distance, as if it was shining right towards him. He smiled wider, receiving the telepathic message that was meant for him.

_He'll do this for Zhengting and make him proud._

**Author's Note:**

> thank u my biting friends u have just finished 11.7k of word vomit. congratulations.
> 
> twt: @biwenjunhui


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